It gets me in more trouble than almost anything: I have something to say, so I just say it. I don't question it at all. I don’t think for a second if I actually SHOULD say it. I don't ask myself HOW I should say it . . .

We were talking about things we might want to do for our 50th anniversary. I had a brilliant idea. We were watching one of those Christmas romances (“Flight Before Christmas,” Mayim Bialik . . .

I said, “Do you feel like we need to talk about what happened the other day? Is there more to say?” “Yes,” she said. It feels risky. Once the incident and emotions are behind you, you don’t want to risk . . .

When I first began the Simpler Marriage Letter, I thought that for the “Lessons Learned” section I’d be going back remembering past experiences and things learned. Now I’m seeing there are still . . .

Brenda did a lot of hospitality-ing and cooking last Thursday through the weekend. Our grown, hungry grandsons and son-in-law visited. It was fantastic. The two days before that, she made the . . .

I get up too late and realize I need to rush to make a doctor appointment. I’m almost always late and she knows it. I'm getting the leash and sorta mumble without thinking, “The dog walk has . . .

Did I actually just now learn this? I think I knew or suspected it in some vague way, but I hadn’t summarized it into some kind of “truth” until recently. Here it is - * * * It’s normal to be bugged by each other * * *

“Use your words.” We say it to kids all the time. “How do we know what you want or how you feel if you don’t tell us?” And another one we tell kids is, “Watch your tone there kiddo.” Their words can be OK . . .

You do something your spouse asks you to do. (See Letters #7 and #6 for the story). They don’t like how you did it and they say ”I hate it” because you didn’t do it the way they wanted. They have a point 🥴 . . .

She wants a tree trimmed. I trim it. She doesn’t like it and says so. Inside me: You can’t just chop off the ends. You don’t understand. Just because you want a certain thing doesn’t mean it can happen . . .

She wants the dwarf crape myrtle tree pruned. “Just cut the ends off to make it smaller.” I know that if you just knock the ends off all the branches then you’re going to encourage a million little flimsy . . .

You know how during an intense discussion or disagreement, you think of something to say but you catch yourself and wonder should I? I don't mean something insulting or a zinger, I just mean words . . .

So one morning last week I’m rushed. Normally when I get up there’s time for a morning routine of coffee and a bite of something along with either reading, thinking, or listening to a devotional. Not that morning . . .

I think we all know that during an argument we don’t want to say everything that pops in our head. And we want to use good listening skills to make sure we hear each other. I know this. I don’t do it. Do you?

Even after 50 years, there’s something that still happens that I don’t like. During a disagreement it’s easy to turn into the weakest, worst version of myself.

We had a few words with each other last week that were too harsh. We didn’t talk about it afterwards, we just went about our individual business in the house. A few minutes later she brought me a cup of coffee and . . .